as mom and apple pie, Zartan's repertoire of highly conceptual
and classy prank phone calls is as infectious as most STD's,
while remaining as accessible as Nevada prostitutes.
from the Green Bay - Appleton - Oshkosh tri-metroplex of Northeast
Wisconsin, and armed with all manner of deer hunting rifle and
bow, these boys know what it takes to break the myth of the
decade of self-released demo cassettes and dubious cult notoriety,
Zartan released their first official CD in 2001, a joint venture
between no less than five foolish independent record labels.
to the group's telephonic antics, Zartan has also given rare
performances of actual music in the Fox Valley region of Wisconsin.
Highlights include a grindcore version of "Purple Haze"
performed at a Menasha High School Talent Show, as well as a
set of experimental guitar noise at Fun-Luvin' Productions in
Appleton, for which no audience showed up and the soundman walked
is often asked, "who are these mysterious dickheads, and
what's their fucking problem?" Well...
DEWALD, responsible for approximately 90% of Zartan's output,
has been as esteemed member of the US Armed Forces as well as
the United Nations Development Programme, has honed his diplomatic
skills at the National Model UN
Conference, and is currently on probation for making harassing
phone calls to a certain ex-girlfriend.
while only responsible for approximately 5% of Zartan's output,
remains the member most willing and able to orchestrate the
trio's recording deals. Unfortunately, he is also a member of
aka POCKETS aka LITTLE BITCH is the silent, serious partner
in Zartan, responsible for approximately 5% of the voices heard
within. When not seeking out obscure records of avant-garde
percussion, he edits a serious music magazine called Fever